Helpless.

Have you ever felt so Helpless in life? That there is nothing you can do to fix a situation or problem? You can’t lift up a person and make them feel better, you can’t answer your best friends, “why did this happen to me” question, you can’t make the hurt go away, you’re helpless.

The last few weeks I have felt Helpless.

It’s not the first time I have felt Helpless.

I felt Helpless when I found out about sex trafficking and all the humans in slavery. 
I felt Helpless when I watched the love of my life fly off in an emergency helicopter.
I felt Helpless when he was laying in a hospital bed with a tube in his brain.
I felt Helpless when he wasn't awake yet after having major brain surgery.
I felt Helpless when he realized he was paralyzed on one side of his body.
I felt Helpless when my best friends dad committed suicide.
I felt Helpless when I couldn't take away her pain.
I felt Helpless when I didn’t even have words to comfort her.
I felt Helpless when my dad left my family.
I felt Helpless when my entire family fell apart.
I felt Helpless when Nathan started teething and his painful cry hurt my heart.
I felt Helpless when Nathan got his first fever and I could only give him Tylenol.
I felt Helpless when Nathan got crazy hives.

This season of feeling Helpless is a little different.

I have been reminded that I'm not Helpless.

It might sound super silly and super easy, but its the small reminder that I have Christ Jesus living inside me. Although I may not be able to take away the pain of someone I love and I may not have the correct words and answers, I do have Jesus, and Jesus can do ALL things.

This was a good reminder tonight.

I was thinking of my current situation and what I could do to fix it. Then I came across the verse,

“The LORD hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles.”
Psalm 34:17 NLT

That got me thinking of how I have been responding to feeling Helpless. I have this routine when I start to feel Helpless. 

First I panic for a hot minute and then go in a little spiral downward because I am not in control of the situation. I can't do anything, so I try to find out if that is true and what I can do. 

So second I pray and give it to Jesus, but more prayers is better than one prayer, so I then need to ask my friends and family to pray for it also. 

Then lastly, I try to find out what God wants me to do in the situation. I want him to use me right away so the problem or situation can be fixed as soon as possible. Lets get back to the normal swing of life and not have a feeling of Helplessness over us. 

(Yes I know my process is not awesome and it is something I am working on personally. Not to panic and worry and instead be calm.) 

But this verse made me sit back.
God works in people when they are at a low. He teaches when people are sad, mad, frustrated, depressed, lonely, unsure, confused, and hurt. He is able to come in and give them a hug and really show his nurturing fatherly heart. 

Who am I to try and rush his process?

I don't know what he wants to teach in these moments of Helplessness. I don't know what my friends and family really need to hear. I don't know when someone should be sick and when someone should be healed. I don't know a lot of things. And lets be real, I like having control and I like knowing things.

So what I learned or was reminded tonight was that life is a journey. We all have a story and we all have hard times. We might not know what the person sitting next to us is feeling, or the man in front of us in the line at Target is going through right now, but God does. And he is in control and he knows all things.
Praying IS enough. And my prayer is heard. My timing of when my answer should arrive is not the same of Gods timing, and I need to remember thats okay. I don't need to be a frazzled stress ball pacing down my hall way. 

“I cried out to the LORD, and he answered me from his holy mountain.”

Psalm 3:4 NLT

Tonight I was feeling very Helpless. I journaled and wrote out prayers and listened to Hillsong United. I want these trails to go away. I want these hours of hurt and heartache to pass quickly. I was reminded that God knows what he's doing. He hears me. He sees me. He knows the desires my heart and what I would like him to do. But I only see this puzzle piece, and I have no idea where this puzzel piece fits into his grand puzzle masterpiece.

Wherever life has you right now, I hope it's on a high with lots of laughter and love, but if it's not and you're feeling Helpless, know you don't have to be. God has you. He has a plan for what is going on. Boy do I wish I had the answers for you, but thankfully our ALL KNOWING GOD does. He hears your prayers friend! He sees you! He won't abandon you! 

XOXO

Helpless image from "oferwolberger.com"

Verse image from Bible App, lifechurch.tv