When I was growing up I was fascinated with numbers and patterns of numbers.
To fall asleep I would look at the clock with the big red numbers on them and find patterns on how they all meant something together. I would do some sort of math or find an equation that equaled to how the numbers had meaning. My favorite time was always 11:11. I would stay up just to see this time on the clock because it always made me smile. It was simple. Just four 1’s all next to each other. It was unique. No other time could have four of the same numbers next to each other. It was the only one. So I always translated that to characteristics in myself as simple and unique.
As I grew up I heard the phrase, “11:11 make a wish” and I always would.
The fact that I got to make a wish just made me love the time 11:11 that much more.
I don’t remember how old I was when I realized that one day I would get to live when the date was 11-11-11. I even calculated that I would be 22 years old, which if you divide by 2 is 11. (I find so many patterns lol). When I realized all of this I ran into tell my mom that I was going to get married on this date and I would be old enough to get married. She just laughed and said okay! Haha little did she know that this was actually going to be true.
In high school I told my best friends that I was going to get married on 11-11-11 and who knows what they thought, I didn’t even know my husband yet! I was so sure of this date though!
Many of you know the scare that Caleb and I went through in 2010. I haven’t ever had the courage to write about this time yet, but I know for sure that April 2010 was the worst month of my life so far! I almost lost Caleb. I remember yelling at God and crying so hard. I remember asking God to kill me instead. I remember questioning why God would ever hurt me so bad when I had tried to live a life of pure responsibility and love. Then I looked at my phone and the time was 11:11. I started crying so hard I couldn’t breath. I had been so sure growing up that I would get married on 11-11-11, and I was facing losing the man that I was going to marry. It did not make since to me. I was so broken by this. (I am even crying just thinking of this time).
Maybe one day ill have the courage to be vulnerable about my experience in spring 2010, but not today lol. The end story is God healed Caleb. Caleb found out my obsession with 11-11-11 and four months after he was healed he asked me to marry him. We had a year to plan the wedding of our dreams and get married on 11-11-11. The excitement in this time was amazing. Not only was Caleb alive and healed, I was able to have the chance to marry him on the day of my dreams!
I'm so excited to marry my best friend in five days. I remember years ago thinking how exciting the day 11-11-11 is going to be, and time has flown to get here. When I was in San Francisco and I wasn’t family, and I wasn’t Caleb’s wife, I felt out of place. I remember the bathroom was my safe zone because I could cry as hard as I needed and no one would hear me. I remember wishing every 11:11 that Caleb would be healed or I would die instead.
In five days I don’t only get to marry my best friend. I not only get to marry the man of my dreams. I not only get to marry the man that God created for me. I get to marry a man that I deeply love and cherish every moment that God has given us. It’s a miracle that Caleb is alive and I get to marry him. How lucky and blessed am I? No other person will ever know Caleb the way I get to. No other person will ever get to share life with Caleb like I get too! No other person will ever get to marry Caleb!
The scare I had to go through only makes this Friday night mean so much more to me than a wedding. I have the chance to experience marriage with Caleb, which a year and a half ago I didn’t think that was possible.
11:11 I found identity in myself as simple and unique, 11:11 I got to wish for a wedding day when I was little, 11:11 I got to wish for a husband, 11:11 I got to wish for healing for Caleb, 11:11 I got to wish for hope for the future, and 11-11-11 I get to marry the man that God has blessed my life with and has made my childhood dreams come true!
X0X0 Kymberly
